Human Rights And The U.S.

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Area Dad Thinks Refs Should Just Let Them Play Football

DOYLESTOWN, PA—Facetiously questioning how the game had suddenly become a non-contact sport, local father Aaron Harper confirmed his belief Thursday that referees officiating a Thanksgiving game between the Philadelphia Eagles and Detroit Lions should just let them play football out there.
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Human Rights And The U.S.

Recently ousted from the U.N. Human Rights Commission, the U.S. is no longer the world's human-rights leader, according to Amnesty International. What do you think?
  • "Doesn't Amnesty International realize we have covert black-op specialists who shoot people for saying that kind of stuff?"

    Allen Andrews
    Systems Analyst
  • "I guess our nation's leaders have given up trying to impress sexy, politically active college chicks."

    Ron Bass
  • "I'd like to applaud the forward-thinking nations of Angola, Sudan, and Syria for helping vote the U.S. off the U.N. commission. Truly, your countries are examples to us all."

    Duane McHenry
  • "I support whatever Amnesty International has to say. I have to: They sent me those free return-address labels."

    Paulette Wilson
  • "Fine, I'll let the guy out of my basement. Will that fix this up?"

    Stan Tocchet
  • "America makes the best movies, the best TV shows, and the best snack foods. We can't do everything."

    Dana Milbank
    Real-Estate Agent