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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.
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Human Rights And The U.S.

Recently ousted from the U.N. Human Rights Commission, the U.S. is no longer the world's human-rights leader, according to Amnesty International. What do you think?
  • "Doesn't Amnesty International realize we have covert black-op specialists who shoot people for saying that kind of stuff?"

    Allen Andrews Systems Analyst
  • "I guess our nation's leaders have given up trying to impress sexy, politically active college chicks."

    Ron Bass Cashier
  • "I'd like to applaud the forward-thinking nations of Angola, Sudan, and Syria for helping vote the U.S. off the U.N. commission. Truly, your countries are examples to us all."

    Duane McHenry Doctor
  • "I support whatever Amnesty International has to say. I have to: They sent me those free return-address labels."

    Paulette Wilson Librarian
  • "Fine, I'll let the guy out of my basement. Will that fix this up?"

    Stan Tocchet Landscaper
  • "America makes the best movies, the best TV shows, and the best snack foods. We can't do everything."

    Dana Milbank Real-Estate Agent
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