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The Life Of Diana, Princess Of Wales

Today marks 20 years since the funeral of Princess Diana, known to many as the “people’s princess.” The Onion looks back at the life of Princess Diana before it was cut tragically short.

Study: Other Countries Weird

BOSTON—Examining a wide variety of cross-cultural data, a Boston University study released Monday determined that other countries are weird.

Japanese Family Puts Aging Robot In Retirement Home

KYOTO, JAPAN—Saying the move to the assisted care facility was the right decision after so many years of operation, members of the Akiyama family finally put their aging robot in a retirement home, sources reported Friday.

North Korea Successfully Detonates Nuclear Scientist

PYONGYANG—Hailing it as a significant step forward for their ballistic weapons program just hours after suffering a failed missile launch, North Korean leaders announced Monday they had successfully detonated a nuclear scientist.
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Human Rights And The U.S.

According to Amnesty International, the U.S. is no longer the world's human-rights leader. What do you think?
  • "Doesn't Amnesty International realize we have covert black-op specialists who shoot people for saying that kind of stuff?"

    Chris Winfield Plumber
  • "I guess our nation's leaders have given up trying to impress sexy, politically active college chicks."

    Dan Eichelberger Systems Analyst
  • "I'd like to applaud the forward-thinking nations of Angola, Sudan, and Syria for helping vote the U.S. off the U.N. commission. Truly, your countries are examples to us all."

    Eileen Tenace Buyer
  • "I support whatever Amnesty International has to say. I have to: They sent me those free return-address labels."

    Laurie Almon Architect
  • "Fine, I'll let the guy out of my basement. Will that fix this up?"

    Paul Bevacqua Cab Driver
  • "America makes the best movies, the best TV shows, and the best snack foods. We can't do everything."

    Raymond Fingers Civil Engineer

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