adBlockCheck

International

Nobel Committee Awards Self Peace Prize For Once

‘Sometimes You Just Need To Treat Yourself,’ Sources Say

OSLO, NORWAY—Saying there was nothing wrong with treating yourself for a change, the Norwegian Nobel Committee announced Friday that it was awarding the 2017 Nobel Peace Prize to itself for once.

The Life Of Diana, Princess Of Wales

Today marks 20 years since the funeral of Princess Diana, known to many as the “people’s princess.” The Onion looks back at the life of Princess Diana before it was cut tragically short.

Study: Other Countries Weird

BOSTON—Examining a wide variety of cross-cultural data, a Boston University study released Monday determined that other countries are weird.

Japanese Family Puts Aging Robot In Retirement Home

KYOTO, JAPAN—Saying the move to the assisted care facility was the right decision after so many years of operation, members of the Akiyama family finally put their aging robot in a retirement home, sources reported Friday.
End Of Section
  • More News

Human Trafficking On The Rise

The global recession has led to an increase in the number of people victimized by forced labor and sex slavery. What do you think?
  • "But Ghalid assures me that this is a time-honored tradition, and that I can buy my freedom in four to six years."

    Kathryn Harmann Masseuse
  • "Reliable products made at home, a strong infrastructure, and tons and tons of sex slaves. That's how FDR got us out of the Great Depression."

    Brian Wilke Ophthalmic Photographer
  • "Really? Whoa. You know, I'm beginning to think that maybe we never should have gotten into this worldwide financial crisis in the first place.”

    James Schwichtenberg Wood Buffer

More from this section

The Life Of Diana, Princess Of Wales

Today marks 20 years since the funeral of Princess Diana, known to many as the “people’s princess.” The Onion looks back at the life of Princess Diana before it was cut tragically short.

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close