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Breaking: ACLU Hard As A Fucking Rock Right Now

NEW YORK—In response to President Trump’s declaration that transgendered Americans would no longer be permitted to serve in the military, the ACLU announced Wednesday that it was hard as a fucking rock right now.

Voter Fraud: Myth Vs. Fact

Concerns over fraudulent voting have grown since the 2016 election, with President Trump himself claiming that millions of people voted illegally. The Onion debunks some common myths about voter fraud.
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'Hunger Games' Opens Today

The Hunger Games, the hotly anticipated film adaptation of the young adult novel in which teens have to fight to the death, opens today. What do you think?

  • "There's still another Twilight movie left. Where is everyone's sense of loyalty?"

    Brynn Waits Systems Analyst
  • "I’m tired of all these movies made from books. How about Hollywood starts catering to some of us nonreaders for a change?"

    Frank Lurie Needle Leader
  • "Whoah! How ’bout a spoiler alert, buddy? I didn't know it was Friday!"

    Paul Benigni Mica-Plate Layer

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Breaking: ACLU Hard As A Fucking Rock Right Now

NEW YORK—In response to President Trump’s declaration that transgendered Americans would no longer be permitted to serve in the military, the ACLU announced Wednesday that it was hard as a fucking rock right now.

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