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The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:

A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:
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Hurricanes With Female Names Kill More People

According to new research, hurricanes given female names tend to be more deadly than ones with male names because people subconsciously assume the former will be less destructive and take fewer safety precautions as a result. What do you think?

  • “Dammit. Aren’t any of my subconscious gender biases ever helpful?”

    Mark Ghastin Lender Relations Analyst
  • “Isn’t that just like a woman to sucker you with a pretty name and then flood your city with 7 billion gallons of seawater.”

    Daniel Platco Tasting Room Manager
  • “Eh, we love ’em anyway.”

    Aiden Lee Marble Setter
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