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What Is Trump’s Relationship With White Nationalism?

Since the weekend’s violent protests in Charlottesville, VA, many have criticized President Trump for his failure to outright condemn the white supremacists involved. The Onion breaks down Trump’s relationship to this powerful hate group.

Ruth Bader Ginsburg Returns To Off-Season Lifeguarding Job

ALEXANDRIA, VA—Saying she hadn’t missed a summer since she was on the U.S. Court of Appeals, Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg said Tuesday that she had once again returned to her off-season lifeguarding job at Splash Central waterpark.

President’s American Manufacturing Council Down To CEO Of Shoe Carnival

WASHINGTON—Following a series of resignations from prominent CEOs amid the fallout from President Trump’s handling of white-nationalist violence in Charlottesville, VA, White House sources confirmed Tuesday that Trump’s American Manufacturing Council is now down to a single member, Clifton Sifford, CEO and president of Shoe Carnival.
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Ian McKellen Officiating Patrick Stewart’s Wedding

British actor Sir Ian McKellen, famed for his roles as Gandalf and Magneto, will officiate the wedding of fellow British actor and X-Men costar Sir Patrick Stewart, noted for his roles as Capt. Jean-Luc Picard and Professor X, when the latter marries his jazz singer fiancée Sunny Ozell. What do you think?

  • “This has the makings to be the most sonorous ceremony of all time.”

    Kendra Silvestri Midwife
  • “Shoot, if I knew he were an option I wouldn’t have had my stupid grandfather as my officiant.”

    Skip Rykes Almond Paste Mixer
  • “This is almost exactly like my X-Men fan fiction, except Harry Potter isn’t there.”

    Mo Hockridge Locomotive Inspector

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