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Frontier Airlines Tells Customers To Just Fucking Deal With It

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DENVER—Noting that some discomfort should be expected while traveling to a faraway place in just a few goddamn hours, officials from ultra-low-cost carrier Frontier Airlines reportedly told customers Thursday to just fucking deal with it.

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Ian McKellen Officiating Patrick Stewart’s Wedding

British actor Sir Ian McKellen, famed for his roles as Gandalf and Magneto, will officiate the wedding of fellow British actor and X-Men costar Sir Patrick Stewart, noted for his roles as Capt. Jean-Luc Picard and Professor X, when the latter marries his jazz singer fiancée Sunny Ozell. What do you think?

  • “This has the makings to be the most sonorous ceremony of all time.”

    Kendra Silvestri Midwife
  • “Shoot, if I knew he were an option I wouldn’t have had my stupid grandfather as my officiant.”

    Skip Rykes Almond Paste Mixer
  • “This is almost exactly like my X-Men fan fiction, except Harry Potter isn’t there.”

    Mo Hockridge Locomotive Inspector

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Frontier Airlines Tells Customers To Just Fucking Deal With It

‘You’re Uncomfortable For A Few Hours And Then You Get To Be Somewhere Else,’ Says CEO

DENVER—Noting that some discomfort should be expected while traveling to a faraway place in just a few goddamn hours, officials from ultra-low-cost carrier Frontier Airlines reportedly told customers Thursday to just fucking deal with it.

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