Icelandic Volcano Halts European Air Travel

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Vol 46 Issue 16

Adam Wainwright Annoying Entire Ballpark By Announcing Pitch Count Out Loud

ST. LOUIS—Despite a stellar complete-game effort against the Mets Sunday, Cardinals ace Adam Wainwright managed to irritate every player, coach, member of the media, and spectator in the ballpark by shouting out his pitch count every single time he threw the ball. "One," Wainwright said after his first pitch, just seconds before acknowledging his second by shouting.
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Icelandic Volcano Halts European Air Travel

A plume of ash from an erupting volcano in Iceland halted most air travel in Great Britain and Western Europe this weekend. What do you think?

  • "I bet Great Britain really regrets letting its navy go to shit now."

    Calvin Tucker
    Systems Analyst
  • "Well, I hope my stranded Scottish houseguests like season four of The Wire and Chinese food, because no damn volcano is going to get me to go to another museum."

    Cathey Weiss
    Tool Grinder
  • "I know there's nothing anyone can do, but try consoling my two little girls, who had been so looking forward to going to the Nordhäuser Jazzfrühling in Nordhausen, Germany."

    Herman Brownstein
    Cashier
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