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Nobel Committee Awards Self Peace Prize For Once

‘Sometimes You Just Need To Treat Yourself,’ Sources Say

OSLO, NORWAY—Saying there was nothing wrong with treating yourself for a change, the Norwegian Nobel Committee announced Friday that it was awarding the 2017 Nobel Peace Prize to itself for once.

The Life Of Diana, Princess Of Wales

Today marks 20 years since the funeral of Princess Diana, known to many as the “people’s princess.” The Onion looks back at the life of Princess Diana before it was cut tragically short.

Study: Other Countries Weird

BOSTON—Examining a wide variety of cross-cultural data, a Boston University study released Monday determined that other countries are weird.

Japanese Family Puts Aging Robot In Retirement Home

KYOTO, JAPAN—Saying the move to the assisted care facility was the right decision after so many years of operation, members of the Akiyama family finally put their aging robot in a retirement home, sources reported Friday.
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Icelandic Volcano Halts European Air Travel

A plume of ash from an erupting volcano in Iceland halted most air travel in Great Britain and Western Europe this weekend. What do you think?

  • "I bet Great Britain really regrets letting its navy go to shit now."

    Calvin Tucker Systems Analyst
  • "Well, I hope my stranded Scottish houseguests like season four of The Wire and Chinese food, because no damn volcano is going to get me to go to another museum."

    Cathey Weiss Tool Grinder
  • "I know there's nothing anyone can do, but try consoling my two little girls, who had been so looking forward to going to the Nordhäuser Jazzfrühling in Nordhausen, Germany."

    Herman Brownstein Cashier

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The Life Of Diana, Princess Of Wales

Today marks 20 years since the funeral of Princess Diana, known to many as the “people’s princess.” The Onion looks back at the life of Princess Diana before it was cut tragically short.

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