ID Critic Beaten

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Deadline For Prior User To Remove Clothes From Dryer Extended 5 Minutes

JOHNSON CITY, TN—Upon finding the machine in her apartment building’s laundry room completely untouched since she last stopped by, exasperated local woman Sandra Hermus reportedly mounted all her magnanimity Monday and extended the deadline for the previous user to remove their clothing from the dryer by five minutes.

Man Races Against Time To Take Out Trash Bag With Widening Puncture

RIO RANCHO, NM—His pace steadily quickening as he rounded the corner out of his kitchen and made a beeline for the front door, local man Henry Parnasse reportedly found himself locked in a race against time Wednesday morning to take out a trash bag with a widening hole in its side.
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ID Critic Beaten

Professor Paul Mirecki, head of the University of Kansas' Religious Studies Department, was severely beaten recently by individuals who objected to his views against intelligent design. What do you think?
  • "That'll teach him the difference between man and apes. Wait—no it won't."

    Donovan Driscoll
    Professional Bowler
  • "That's okay, I guess, but what I'd really like to do is punch Charles Darwin in the face."

    Michael Downing
    Coder
  • "It's too bad that professor got beaten… Sounds like that course would have been an easy A."

    Shelby Graham
    Accountant