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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.

Report: Grandpa Just Walks Like That Now

CULVER CITY, CA—According to family sources, the prominent limp displayed by local grandpa Marvin Adelstein on Tuesday is indicative of the fact that he just walks like that now.
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IKEA Placing Cardboard Cutouts Of Dogs In Furniture Showrooms To Encourage Adoption

Select IKEA stores are strategically placing life-sized cardboard cutouts of dogs in furniture showrooms to help customers visualize what their homes would look like with a dog, part of a program aimed at encouraging pet adoption. What do you think?

  • “It’s brilliant—ideas like this could really change what couples argue about inside the store.”

    Meryl Kerr Candy Bowl Restocker
  • “Sure, it looks cute in the showroom, but when they deliver the dog it’s in 100 different pieces.”

    Alex Davison Keyboard Cleaner
  • “Can’t I go anywhere anymore without being subtly encouraged to do something altruistic?”

    Brandon Mehling Meeting Scheduler
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