adBlockCheck

Recent News

Breaking: ACLU Hard As A Fucking Rock Right Now

NEW YORK—In response to President Trump’s declaration that transgendered Americans would no longer be permitted to serve in the military, the ACLU announced Wednesday that it was hard as a fucking rock right now.

Voter Fraud: Myth Vs. Fact

Concerns over fraudulent voting have grown since the 2016 election, with President Trump himself claiming that millions of people voted illegally. The Onion debunks some common myths about voter fraud.

Fermilab Receives Generous Anonymous Particle Donation

BATAVIA, IL—Calling it the most substantial private donation the research facility has received in years, officials at the Fermi National Accelerator Laboratory announced Monday that an anonymous benefactor had given them a generous particle donation.
End Of Section
  • More News

Illegal Immigrants Apply To Stay In U.S.

Under an Obama administration policy that went into effect yesterday, an estimated 1.7 million immigrants 30 or younger who were brought to the United States illegally as children can now apply to remain in the country. What do you think?

  • “I don’t care what kind of official government paperwork they have, they’re still illegal in my book.”

    Judson Hallinan Terrazzo Finisher
  • “That’s just a disgrace to all their forebears who had the decency and fortitude to live in perpetual fear of arbitrary deportation.”

    Tony Burgard Yield-Loss Inspector
  • “Welcome to what used to be America!”

    Terri D’Aquino Tire-Cord Weaver

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close