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Biden Opts Out Of Putting Last Few Felonies On Job Application

WASHINGTON—Saying he would be “sitting pretty” if he landed such a primo gig, Vice President Joe Biden reportedly decided Tuesday to leave off several of his most recent felonies while filling out a job application for a blackjack dealer position at the Horseshoe Casino Baltimore.
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Independence Day Celebrated

This Fourth of July marks the 234th anniversary of the signing of the Declaration of independence. What do you think?

  • "I love the Fourth! Cookouts, fireworks, prank calling the Queen, all of it."

    Susan Tankel Systems Analyst
  • "Well, then, that shall be the reason I get drunk that night!"

    Robert Guy Waste Salvager
  • "Wow, already? I can't believe that America only has six years left."

    Mitch Carbonella Jr. Naphthalene-Still Operator

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