Independence Day Celebrated

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‘SportsCenter’ Co-Anchors Clearly Dating

BRISTOL, CT—Saying that the pair could barely take their eyes off one another throughout the hour-long sports news program, ESPN viewers told reporters Friday that it is increasingly clear SportsCenter anchors John Anderson and Matt Barrie are currently dating.

Terrifying Uniformed Bachelorette Party Storms Local Bar

TACOMA, WA—Bursting into the establishment seemingly out of nowhere and overtaking it within a matter of moments, a terrifying uniformed bachelorette party stormed local pub Casey’s Saloon Friday night, onlookers reported.
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Terrifying Uniformed Bachelorette Party Storms Local Bar

TACOMA, WA—Bursting into the establishment seemingly out of nowhere and overtaking it within a matter of moments, a terrifying uniformed bachelorette party stormed local pub Casey’s Saloon Friday night, onlookers reported.

Independence Day Celebrated

This Fourth of July marks the 234th anniversary of the signing of the Declaration of independence. What do you think?

  • "I love the Fourth! Cookouts, fireworks, prank calling the Queen, all of it."

    Susan Tankel
    Systems Analyst
  • "Well, then, that shall be the reason I get drunk that night!"

    Robert Guy
    Waste Salvager
  • "Wow, already? I can't believe that America only has six years left."

    Mitch Carbonella Jr.
    Naphthalene-Still Operator
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