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The Life Of Diana, Princess Of Wales

Today marks 20 years since the funeral of Princess Diana, known to many as the “people’s princess.” The Onion looks back at the life of Princess Diana before it was cut tragically short.

Study: Other Countries Weird

BOSTON—Examining a wide variety of cross-cultural data, a Boston University study released Monday determined that other countries are weird.

Japanese Family Puts Aging Robot In Retirement Home

KYOTO, JAPAN—Saying the move to the assisted care facility was the right decision after so many years of operation, members of the Akiyama family finally put their aging robot in a retirement home, sources reported Friday.

North Korea Successfully Detonates Nuclear Scientist

PYONGYANG—Hailing it as a significant step forward for their ballistic weapons program just hours after suffering a failed missile launch, North Korean leaders announced Monday they had successfully detonated a nuclear scientist.
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India And The Bomb

India conducted five underground nuclear tests last week and has vowed to conduct more, prompting strong condemnation and economic sanctions from the U.S. What do you think?
  • "Indians testing nuclear bombs? They can't even get my tandoori right."

    Chris Knight Chiropractor
  • "God, the Indians are so much more in touch with their spiritual side, aren't they?"

    Lori Backman Mathematician
  • "I guess this finally explains where all those glowing, six-armed blue guys came from."

    Lawrence Santana Flight Attendant
  • "India should heed America's call to stop nuclear testing. After all, we obliged when India asked us to stop in the '40s, '50s, '60s, '70s and '80s."

    Systems Analyst Patricia Wilson
  • "I'm just glad American Indians don't have the bomb. Talk about heap big payback for Paleface."

    Sales Representative Josh Carter
  • "I just hope the Indians love their children, too."

    Joseph Teufel Landscaper

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