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Study: Other Countries Weird

BOSTON—Examining a wide variety of cross-cultural data, a Boston University study released Monday determined that other countries are weird.

Japanese Family Puts Aging Robot In Retirement Home

KYOTO, JAPAN—Saying the move to the assisted care facility was the right decision after so many years of operation, members of the Akiyama family finally put their aging robot in a retirement home, sources reported Friday.

North Korea Successfully Detonates Nuclear Scientist

PYONGYANG—Hailing it as a significant step forward for their ballistic weapons program just hours after suffering a failed missile launch, North Korean leaders announced Monday they had successfully detonated a nuclear scientist.

Tokyo Portal Outage Delays Millions Of Japanese Warp Commuters

TOKYO—Saying the outdated system needed to be upgraded or replaced to avoid similar problems going forward, millions of inconvenienced Japanese warp commuters expressed frustration Thursday following a Tokyo portal outage that caused delays of up to eight seconds.

Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.
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Indian Business Students Into 'Mein Kampf'

The Daily Telegraph of London reports that Indian business students are buying Adolf Hitler's autobiography as a sort of management guide. What do you think?
  • "Well, they sure don't want to follow Gandhi's model. All that guy ever did was lose money."

    Anne Barrett Systems Analyst
  • "I guess that makes sense if you take the Jews to represent scheduling conflicts."

    Albert Zimmerman Gift Wrapper
  • “Who better to give management advice than a guy who couldn’t get into art school?”

    Fred Wistow Field Assembly Supervisor

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