Insurance Costs Outstrip Wage Increases

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Vol 47 Issue 39

Man Strains To Find Personalities In Pet Fish

GURNEE, IL—According to friends and family members, 34-year-old Josh Ferguson has really been pushing the bounds of credulity lately by ascribing specific personality traits to his seven tropical fish.

Vick To Miss 4 Weeks With Hand Concussion

PHILADELPHIA—Explaining that the persistent feelings of fatigue, dizziness, and nausea in Michael Vick's non-throwing hand indicate the appendage is concussed, Eagles team physicians announced the quarterback will miss the next four weeks of footbal...
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Man Considers Nodding Approvingly After Friend’s Drink Purchase

MEQUON, WI—Seeking to convey his endorsement of his acquaintance's selection at local bar Coney's Draft House this evening, area man Thomas Dodge told reporters that he was considering nodding approvingly at his friend’s alcoholic beverage pur...

Insurance Costs Outstrip Wage Increases

The cost of health insurance premiums in the United States rose 9 percent this year, nearly three times the rate of increase seen in 2010. What do you think?

  • "No thanks. Life's not that cool."

    Rick Dunn
    Planisher
  • "I’m pretty sure the finger can be pointed directly at my neighbor, who gets colonoscopies like they’re going out of style."

    Julian Smith
    Work-Ticket Distributor
  • "Yesterday that would have worried me, but this morning I found a similar lump on the opposite breast, so I'm cool."

    Sarah Harrison
    Guide Winder
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