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Tips For Back-To-School Shopping

As kids prepare to go back to school, parents are tasked with providing all the supplies and clothes they’ll need for the year. Here are The Onion’s tips for tackling back-to-school shopping.

Report: Sky Normal Today

WASHINGTON—Informing citizens there really wasn’t anything special going on up there, the nation’s scientists confirmed the sky is normal today.
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Intel Ships Flawed Chip

On Monday, computer-chip manufacturer Intel announced that its new Cougar Point chip had a flaw, and that rectifying the situation would cost the company $1 billion. What do you think?

  • "Are they positive the chips are defective? Because my company thought the same thing, but it turned out the problem was a worm created by Mossad and the NSA."

    Azita Oveisi Engineer
  • "I only wish the chip in my brain had a flaw. It's still working perfectly. That's the government for you."

    Ken Devoto Unemployed
  • "First they accidentally hire Will.i.am and now this. Intel can't catch a break."

    Louis Gerard Systems Analyst

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