adBlockCheck

Recent News

Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.

Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.
End Of Section
  • More News

Intelligent Design Ousted

Voters in Dover, PA voted out eight school board members who supported an intelligent-design statement being read in biology class. What do you think?
  • "Yeah, but check out who they replaced them with… an 18-year-old politics nerd and a local drag queen who’s always running for office."

    Steve Morton Boilermaker
  • "I feel kind of bad for them. Where can they be ignorant and influential now?"

    Peggy Ramone Computer Programmer
  • "Splendid! Now the only authorities left who subscribe to these wacko theories are safely contained in the highest echelons of executive, legislative, and judicial government."

    Christopher Osburn Legal Secretary
More Videos

WATCH VIDEO FROM THE ONION

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close