adBlockCheck

Recent News

How Amazon Plans To Expand

After years of rapid growth and expansion into new industries, Amazon recently announced that it would be opening a second headquarters outside of Seattle. Here are Amazon’s plans for continued growth.

Report: Americans Now Get 44% Of Their Exercise From Licking

WASHINGTON—Saying the practice accounted for a sizable portion of the nation’s physical activity on any given day, a new report published Tuesday by researchers at the National Institutes of Health revealed that Americans currently get 44 percent of their exercise from licking things.

‘Lost Dog’ Poster Really Tooting Dog’s Horn

BROOKLYN, NY—Claiming the flyer could really stand to tone it down a little, sources said a lost dog poster that began appearing in Brooklyn’s Fort Greene neighborhood Tuesday was really tooting the dog’s horn.
End Of Section
  • More News

International Space Station To Get Espresso Machine

Astronauts aboard the International Space Station will be getting a new espresso machine in November as part of the Italian Space Agency’s Futura mission. What do you think?

  • “Finally, a way to stop those expensive coffee runs back to Earth.”

    Rachel Lawrence Paint Mixer
  • “Good. Everyone knows astronauts are at their best when they’re jittery.”

    Mike Hagel E-Book Marketer
  • “Now I’ll go.”

    Cameron Protter Insurance Claims Processor

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close