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Man In Center Of Political Spectrum Under Impression He Less Obnoxious

MT. VERNON, OH—Loudly explaining to anyone within earshot that both the left and right were ruining the level of discourse in this country, Jesse Levin, a man firmly in the center of the political spectrum, is under the impression that he is less obnoxious than those with more partisan viewpoints, sources reported Friday.
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International Space Station To Get Espresso Machine

Astronauts aboard the International Space Station will be getting a new espresso machine in November as part of the Italian Space Agency’s Futura mission. What do you think?

  • “Finally, a way to stop those expensive coffee runs back to Earth.”

    Rachel Lawrence Paint Mixer
  • “Good. Everyone knows astronauts are at their best when they’re jittery.”

    Mike Hagel E-Book Marketer
  • “Now I’ll go.”

    Cameron Protter Insurance Claims Processor

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