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Best Sports Documentaries

With ESPN’s film ‘OJ: Made In America’ emerging as an Oscars frontrunner this year, Onion Sports looks back at some of the greatest sports documentaries of all time.

New EPA Chief Proposes 30% Cut In All Carbon-Based Organisms

WASHINGTON—Expressing confidence that the nation would meet the ambitious benchmarks by the end of Donald Trump’s presidential term, Scott Pruitt, the president-elect’s nominee for chief of the Environmental Protection Agency, said Thursday he would seek a 30 percent cut in all carbon-based organisms upon assuming office.
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Internet Pedophilia Crackdown

A multinational police team plans to patrol Internet chatrooms as part of a crackdown on child pornography and pedophilia. What do you think?
  • "Police will be patrolling the Internet? They'll need to get the nation's top men on it— Readyman, Chillycheez, SatanicMechanic, and maybe even BeeBop77."

    Thomas Barnes Systems <br>Analyst
  • "It's about time. As a market researcher, I'm sick of perverts in chatrooms propositioning me whenever I pretend to be an 11-year-old girl."

    Sonya Treat Market Researcher
  • "This is great news. I find child pornography sickening, but I am aroused by images of Belgians being led away in handcuffs."

    Douglas Emery Laborer
  • "An international anti-child-porn force would dramatically increase the possibilty of authorities rappelling in through skylights, which is good."

    Daphne Sports Sales Representative
  • "Shouldn't we be fighting terrorism, and not doing anything about anything else?"

    Jason Diaz Painter
  • "That's going to be yet another weird government office to accidently wander into."

    Eric Rhodes Manager

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