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Breaking: ACLU Hard As A Fucking Rock Right Now

NEW YORK—In response to President Trump’s declaration that transgendered Americans would no longer be permitted to serve in the military, the ACLU announced Wednesday that it was hard as a fucking rock right now.

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Internet Pedophilia Crackdown

A multinational police team plans to patrol Internet chatrooms as part of a crackdown on child pornography and pedophilia. What do you think?
  • "Police will be patrolling the Internet? They'll need to get the nation's top men on it— Readyman, Chillycheez, SatanicMechanic, and maybe even BeeBop77."

    Thomas Barnes Systems <br>Analyst
  • "It's about time. As a market researcher, I'm sick of perverts in chatrooms propositioning me whenever I pretend to be an 11-year-old girl."

    Sonya Treat Market Researcher
  • "This is great news. I find child pornography sickening, but I am aroused by images of Belgians being led away in handcuffs."

    Douglas Emery Laborer
  • "An international anti-child-porn force would dramatically increase the possibilty of authorities rappelling in through skylights, which is good."

    Daphne Sports Sales Representative
  • "Shouldn't we be fighting terrorism, and not doing anything about anything else?"

    Jason Diaz Painter
  • "That's going to be yet another weird government office to accidently wander into."

    Eric Rhodes Manager

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Breaking: ACLU Hard As A Fucking Rock Right Now

NEW YORK—In response to President Trump’s declaration that transgendered Americans would no longer be permitted to serve in the military, the ACLU announced Wednesday that it was hard as a fucking rock right now.

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