Iowa Boobs-For-Grades Scandal

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City Adds Some Big Concrete Stairs

They’re For Sitting On Or Running Up Or Something

CHICAGO—Noting the structure’s considerable size and prominent location in a busy public park, local residents confirmed Tuesday that the city had installed some big concrete stairs that were probably for sitting on or running up or something like that.
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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  • ‘Our Town’ Cast Party Going Off The Rails

    PEEKSKILL, NY—Describing a wild scene in which performers and stagehands were loudly conversing, laughing, and occasionally breaking back into their characters from the play, sources confirmed Sunday night that the cast party for the local production of Our Town is currently going off the rails.

Iowa Boobs-For-Grades Scandal

A University of Iowa professor is accused of fondling students in exchange for higher grades. What do you think?
  • "Hopefully, in light of this incident, the taboo subject of sexual harassment will finally be discussed widely on college campuses."

    Ruth Steinem
    Systems Analyst
  • "I knew my busty, suggestible daughter wasn't that smart."

    Sam Pollard
    Spot Welder
  • "A professor fondles a student! That's perfect! I've had the worst writer’s block for my upcoming porno!"

    Ray Pettibon