Iowa Straw Poll Saturday

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Goodwill Executives Arrested After Years Of Skimming Donated Goods Off Top

ROCKVILLE, MD—In what authorities are calling one of the most wide-reaching and deplorable cases of embezzlement in recent history, seven executives at Goodwill Industries International were arrested Thursday for allegedly skimming used clothing, old furniture, small appliances, and thousands of other donated items from the charitable group.

Meteorologists Say Upcoming Hurricane Season To Be Permanent

SILVER SPRING, MD—Warning residents to prepare for extreme winds, heavy rainfall, and flooding starting in the near future and continuing indefinitely, meteorologists at the National Weather Service announced Friday that the upcoming hurricane season would be permanent.
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Iowa Straw Poll Saturday

The first major indicator of Republican presidential candidates’ viability, the Iowa Straw Poll, takes place this Saturday. What do you think?

  • "Hands down my favorite quadrennial GOP formality in the entire Midwest."

    Rose Lewis
    Systems Analyst
  • "Yeah, but the state is only one-third of the way through its candidate pancake-breakfast cycle, so I wouldn't read too much into it."

    Mayer Brown
    Mortgage Clerk
  • "As a Santorum 2012 street team member, I can't tell you how excited I am that the merciful end is finally near."

    Stephen Hyde
    Base Filler