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‘The Princess Bride’ By The Numbers

‘The Princess Bride’ was released 30 years ago today, and it has since become a classic beloved by people of all ages. ‘The Onion’ looks back at ‘The Princess Bride’ 30 years later.

National Zoo Announces Giant Pandas To Divorce

WASHINGTON—Assuring the public that the decision was difficult but the right thing to do for all parties involved, the Smithsonian National Zoological Park announced Friday that their giant pandas would be divorcing.

New Climate Change Report Just List Of Years Each Country Becomes Uninhabitable

GENEVA—Stating that the data published within its pages represented the scientific consensus of top researchers around the world, the U.N. Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change released its annual report this week, which consists solely of an alphabetized list of every country on earth and the years each of them will become uninhabitable.
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iPad 3 May Cost 15% More

If leaked documents prove to be authentic, the soon-to-be released iPad 3 will cost $70 to $80 more than the iPad 2. What do you think?

  • "Ha-ha! Apple has a leak."

    Pamela Hewlett Helmet Coverer
  • "Well, it looks like my kid isn't going to be getting his allowance for a few weeks."

    Geoff Albarn Systems Analyst
  • “If memory serves me correctly, the last iPad was only around 55 cents, so that’s not bad.”

    Alex Jones Rod-Mill Tender

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