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Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.
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iPhone 6 Fans Paying Line Holders To Wait Outside Stores

Apple fans desperate to buy the iPhone 6 on the first day of its release later this month are paying line holders hundreds of dollars to wait outside Apple stores and hold their spots. What do you think?

  • “I care less about the convenience and more about watching a dehydrated, tired man give me the iPhone he just debased himself for.”

    Barry Geist Petroleum Engineer
  • “Wouldn’t it be easier if everyone pooled their money together to hire one really trustworthy guy?”

    Nick Russell Systems Analyst
  • “It may be expensive, but it’s worth it to be one of the first several million people to own an iPhone 6.”

    Melissa Haywater Can Recycler
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