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Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.

Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.
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iPhone App Usage Drops Off

A study has shown that less than 5 percent of consumers still use their free iPhone applications a month after downloading them. What do you think?
  • "Yeah, I stopped using the 'Dial Phone Numbers and Talk' application like two days after getting it."

    Chris Feyen Sales Manager
  • "If I were interested in anything free, I wouldn't have an iPhone."

    Katy Heller Snowplow Operator
  • "I got that Obama iFan app, but about a week ago I got really bored with Obama being president."

    Duane LaRocco Forms Developer
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