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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.
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Iran Suspends Nuclear Program

Possibly setting the stage for a more comprehensive deal, Secretary of State John Kerry helped broker an agreement with Iranian leaders to halt the enrichment of uranium to weapons-grade levels for the next six months in return for relief from economic sanctions. What do you think?

  • “If it’s anything like the time I halted my uranium enrichment, this is going to be a restless six months for Iran.”

    Alan Kiernan County Sheriff
  • “We only achieved this kind of progress because we stopped soft-pedaling and really started pussyfooting.”

    Tanya Battles Professional Cheerleader
  • “I’m disgusted that Iran would negotiate with a guy who killed his own soldiers on that swift boat.”

    Dwayne Chiu Systems Analyst
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