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A Timeline Of Abraham Lincoln’s Life

Every February, people across the the nation celebrate the legacy of Abraham Lincoln, widely considered to be one of America’s finest presidents. The Onion provides a timeline of the key moments in President Lincoln’s life:

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Nation Leery Of Very Odd Little Boy

WASHINGTON—Noting that there was something distinctly unnerving about his mannerisms, physical appearance, and overall demeanor, the nation confirmed Friday that it was leery of very odd 8-year-old Brendan Nault.

What You Need To Know About The Trump Administration’s Ties To Russia

New revelations from the U.S. intelligence community about potentially illegal communications between members of the Trump administration and Russian officials, which led to Michael Flynn resigning as national security advisor Monday, have increased calls for a wider investigation of Trump’s murky ties to Russia. Here’s what you need to know.
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Iran Suspends Nuclear Program

Possibly setting the stage for a more comprehensive deal, Secretary of State John Kerry helped broker an agreement with Iranian leaders to halt the enrichment of uranium to weapons-grade levels for the next six months in return for relief from economic sanctions. What do you think?

  • “If it’s anything like the time I halted my uranium enrichment, this is going to be a restless six months for Iran.”

    Alan Kiernan County Sheriff
  • “We only achieved this kind of progress because we stopped soft-pedaling and really started pussyfooting.”

    Tanya Battles Professional Cheerleader
  • “I’m disgusted that Iran would negotiate with a guy who killed his own soldiers on that swift boat.”

    Dwayne Chiu Systems Analyst
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