adBlockCheck

Recent News

New Climate Change Report Just List Of Years Each Country Becomes Uninhabitable

GENEVA—Stating that the data published within its pages represented the scientific consensus of top researchers around the world, the U.N. Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change released its annual report this week, which consists solely of an alphabetized list of every country on earth and the years each of them will become uninhabitable.

Pros And Cons Of Electric Cars

With technology improving and more automobile companies releasing electric models, electric cars are becoming a common alternative for American consumers. Here are the pros and cons of electric vehicles.

How Amazon Plans To Expand

After years of rapid growth and expansion into new industries, Amazon recently announced that it would be opening a second headquarters outside of Seattle. Here are Amazon’s plans for continued growth.

Report: Americans Now Get 44% Of Their Exercise From Licking

WASHINGTON—Saying the practice accounted for a sizable portion of the nation’s physical activity on any given day, a new report published Tuesday by researchers at the National Institutes of Health revealed that Americans currently get 44 percent of their exercise from licking things.
End Of Section
  • More News

Iran Urges Population To Have More Babies

Fearing that an aging population could strain social services, Iranian leaders have reversed the nation’s pro-family-planning policies and are now urging citizens to have more children. What do you think?

  • “Government has no right to pressure individuals to have children. That’s strictly the role of the individuals’ parents, extended family, friends, neighbors, and coworkers.”

    Marvin Weddle Noodle Maker
  • “Just flat-out asking them is not going to work. You have to cause a national power grid failure to dim the lights, and then maybe put on a little Behzad Ranjbaran by launching a fleet of loudspeaker-equipped vans.”

    Penny Lawrence Marble Setter
  • “All right! Let the fucking under strict Islamic guidelines begin.”

    John Tarbuck Wildlife Agent

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close