Iran Urges Population To Have More Babies

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Vol 48 Issue 31

Spelling Bees

Game Show 8:00 p.m. EDT/7:00 p.m. CDT The popular Japanese game show makes its U.S. debut as contestants compete to spell wordswhile trapped in a chamber full of angry yellow jackets.

Breathtaking Easter Island

The island’s ancient, solemn carved stone faces, known as moai, are regarded by natives as deifications of long-dead ancestors and clan chieftains.

The World's Leakiest Faucets

Discovery 10:00 p.m. EDT/9:00 p.m. CDT There's a Delta kitchen faucet in Cincinnati that’s leaking so bad it’s seriously going drip, drip,drip, drip—that fast.

Sears Extremists Fly Plane Into Willis Tower

The nation’s poorest individuals are at least grateful they aren’t part of the nation’s long-suffering middle class, pictures of a smiling group of people are taken where John Lennon was murdered, and the highlight of an Alzheimer patien...

Unemployment Rate Up

Despite the addition of 163,000 jobs in July, the U.S. unemployment rate rose slightly to 8.3 percent, suggesting the economic recovery remained weak.

Area Man Still Searching For Hookup Subculture On LinkedIn

GLADYS, VA—After weeks of concerted effort aimed at trying to meet sexual partners through the professional networking site, local man Hugh Nesbitt told reporters Friday that he has yet to break in to the underworld of casual hookups surely hidden b...
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Small Business

Iran Urges Population To Have More Babies

Fearing that an aging population could strain social services, Iranian leaders have reversed the nation’s pro-family-planning policies and are now urging citizens to have more children. What do you think?

  • “Government has no right to pressure individuals to have children. That’s strictly the role of the individuals’ parents, extended family, friends, neighbors, and coworkers.”

    Marvin Weddle
    Noodle Maker
  • “Just flat-out asking them is not going to work. You have to cause a national power grid failure to dim the lights, and then maybe put on a little Behzad Ranjbaran by launching a fleet of loudspeaker-equipped vans.”

    Penny Lawrence
    Marble Setter
  • “All right! Let the fucking under strict Islamic guidelines begin.”

    John Tarbuck
    Wildlife Agent
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