adBlockCheck

International

The Life Of Diana, Princess Of Wales

Today marks 20 years since the funeral of Princess Diana, known to many as the “people’s princess.” The Onion looks back at the life of Princess Diana before it was cut tragically short.

Study: Other Countries Weird

BOSTON—Examining a wide variety of cross-cultural data, a Boston University study released Monday determined that other countries are weird.

Japanese Family Puts Aging Robot In Retirement Home

KYOTO, JAPAN—Saying the move to the assisted care facility was the right decision after so many years of operation, members of the Akiyama family finally put their aging robot in a retirement home, sources reported Friday.

North Korea Successfully Detonates Nuclear Scientist

PYONGYANG—Hailing it as a significant step forward for their ballistic weapons program just hours after suffering a failed missile launch, North Korean leaders announced Monday they had successfully detonated a nuclear scientist.
End Of Section
  • More News

Iraq Hostages

Extremists in Iraq continue to use hostage-taking to convey their message, leaving much of the world wondering what can be done. What do you think?
  • "Why don't we make hostage-taking punishable by the death penalty? Then everyone would think twice before doing it."

    Carl Preston Systems Analyst
  • "I'll tell you, I'm about six or seven beheadings away from demanding some answers about what's going on in Iraq."

    Dave Rudd Clerk
  • "I'd like to think that if the situation were reversed, we here in Schaumburg wouldn't treat our hostages this way."

    Roger Monroe Firefighter
  • "If I ever got beheaded, I would make sure the geyser of blood would stain my captors' clothing so they'd have to throw it out. Take that, terrorists!"

    Dora Drucker Lawyer
  • "As a State Department official, let me say that bargaining with terrorists is unacceptable. We apologize for any inconvenience this may cause for the hostages."

    Bea Larson Public Official
  • "We should just shoot 'em all and let God sort 'em out. That's God, mind you, not Allah."

    Chet Johnson Civil Engineer

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close