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Tips For Back-To-School Shopping

As kids prepare to go back to school, parents are tasked with providing all the supplies and clothes they’ll need for the year. Here are The Onion’s tips for tackling back-to-school shopping.

Report: Sky Normal Today

WASHINGTON—Informing citizens there really wasn’t anything special going on up there, the nation’s scientists confirmed the sky is normal today.
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Iraq Now Longer Than WWII

The war in Iraq has now lasted longer than the U.S.'s involvement in World War II. What do you think?
  • "The Iraq war may last longer, but I guarantee you that both wars will end the same way: with the complete destruction of the Japanese."

    Helen Wright Meat Packer
  • "Hooray! Does this mean that we are now the greatest generation?"

    Leo Daives County Assessor
  • "Yes, but did we support our troops then as much as we do today?"

    Dylan Mitchell Systems Analyst

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Report: Sky Normal Today

WASHINGTON—Informing citizens there really wasn’t anything special going on up there, the nation’s scientists confirmed the sky is normal today.

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