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Google Unveils New Larry Page–Driven Car

MOUNTAIN VIEW, CA—Touting the project as its most advanced foray yet into the realm of personal transportation, Google unveiled its new Larry Page–driven car at a press event Wednesday.

Trump Outlines Bold Vision For Nation’s Next Mass Protests

WASHINGTON—Stirring the emotions of citizens across the nation with his strong and affecting rhetoric, President Donald Trump outlined a bold vision for the country’s next mass protests during his address to a joint session of Congress Tuesday night.

What You Need To Know About Last Night’s Oscars Debacle

Many viewers were left wondering about the sequence of events that led to the initial erroneous declaration of ‘La La Land’ as the Best Picture winner at the Academy Awards Sunday instead of the real winner, ‘Moonlight’. The Onion breaks down what you need to know about this fiasco.
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Iraqi Diplomat Draft?

The State Department has said that it may force Foreign Service staff to serve in the U.S. embassy in Baghdad if they do not get enough volunteers to fill 40-50 vacancies. What do you think?
  • "American diplomats have been forced to work in undesirable postings before. Akron, for one."

    Philip Kendricks Carpenter's Apprentice
  • "All they need to do is put on some commercials that make it seem that being a diplomat is all about playing paintball and riding in helicopters."

    Sam Woodson Drill Press Operator
  • "Maybe we could try to make Iraq better. Has that been suggested yet?"

    Betsy Rufin Landscaper
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Trump Outlines Bold Vision For Nation’s Next Mass Protests

WASHINGTON—Stirring the emotions of citizens across the nation with his strong and affecting rhetoric, President Donald Trump outlined a bold vision for the country’s next mass protests during his address to a joint session of Congress Tuesday night.

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