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The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:

A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:
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Iraqi Prisoner Abuse

Though the Bush Administration apologized for U.S. abuse of Iraqi prisoners, some feel the coalition's reputation has suffered irreparable damage. What do you think?
  • "They wanted to provide Iraq with a smooth transition to democracy. We couldn't just plunge them into a non-torture-based society with no time to adjust."

    Donald Stiles Systems Analyst
  • "I’m sure Bush was deeply saddened by the fact that American soldiers were stupid enough to document their acts of cruelty."

    Ricky Thomas Cartoonist
  • "Some people want to make military prisons into country clubs— instead of the S&M clubs they are now."

    Donna Amundson Dental Assistant
  • "Thank God Saddam's in jail so he can't commit atrocities like this anymore."

    Charles Wolf Revenue Agent
  • "It's not like they made a 70-year-old woman get down on all fours, then climbed on her back and called her a donkey. What? Oh, no."

    Joseph <br>Spagnolia Fabricator
  • "If we hadn’t tortured those prisoners, we could never have achieved the post-war stability Iraq is currently enjoying."

    Sheila Wooster Underwriter
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