Iraqis Head To Polls

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Area Dad Thinks Refs Should Just Let Them Play Football

DOYLESTOWN, PA—Facetiously questioning how the game had suddenly become a non-contact sport, local father Aaron Harper confirmed his belief Thursday that referees officiating a Thanksgiving game between the Philadelphia Eagles and Detroit Lions should just let them play football out there.
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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Local Household Announces Plans To Overdo Halloween Again

HIGHLAND PARK, IL—Having hauled over a dozen boxes of lights and plastic decorations as well as a large black-cat-shaped lawn inflatable from storage, members of the Hutchcroft family announced to neighbors from their front yard Thursday their plan to completely overdo Halloween again this year.


Iraqis Head To Polls

Iraqi parliament elections are occurring today. What do you think?
  • "It's got to be weird to take into account qualities such as 'least flammable' when voting for a candidate."

    Jack Dutronc
  • "Can't we just skip the middleman and have the Supreme Court choose the winner now?"

    John Halliday
    County Lineman
  • "It's a good thing the elections didn't happen a year or two ago—having 30,000 fewer voters will make the ballot count a lot easier."

    Francis Hardy