adBlockCheck

Iraqis Head To Polls

Top Headlines

Recent News

Rest Of Nation To Penn State: ‘Something Is Very Wrong With All Of You’

WASHINGTON—Stating they felt deeply unnerved by the community’s unwavering and impassioned defense of a football program and administration that enabled child sexual abuse over the course of several decades, the rest of the country informed Penn State University Friday that there is clearly something very wrong with all of them.

Strongside/Weakside: Lamar Jackson

After passing for eight touchdowns and rushing for another 10 in just the first three weeks of the season, Louisville Cardinals sophomore quarterback Lamar Jackson has quickly become the frontrunner to win the Heisman Trophy. Is he any good?

Obesity: Myth Vs. Fact

With as many as one in three people in the U.S. qualifying as obese, misconceptions are often formed about what it means to be significantly overweight. The Onion separates obesity myths from facts
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next

Iraqis Head To Polls

Iraqi parliament elections are occurring today. What do you think?
  • "It's got to be weird to take into account qualities such as 'least flammable' when voting for a candidate."

    Jack Dutronc Sommelier
  • "Can't we just skip the middleman and have the Supreme Court choose the winner now?"

    John Halliday County Lineman
  • "It's a good thing the elections didn't happen a year or two ago—having 30,000 fewer voters will make the ballot count a lot easier."

    Francis Hardy Pilot

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close