adBlockCheck

Recent News

Black Man Out Of Work

WASHINGTON—Joining the ranks of the unemployed at a time when joblessness remains stubbornly high among African Americans, 55-year-old local black man Barack Obama has lost the full-time job he has held for the past eight years, sources confirmed Friday.

Departing Obama Tearfully Shoos Away Loyal Drone Following Him Out Of White House

‘Go On Now, Git,’ Says Former President

WASHINGTON—Stopping and turning around as he made his way across the South Lawn after hearing the unmanned aerial vehicle hovering just feet behind him, outgoing President Barack Obama tearfully shooed away a loyal MQ-9 Reaper drone attempting to follow him out of the White House, sources confirmed Friday.

Jimmy Carter Contemplating Dying Right Here And Now

WASHINGTON—Carefully weighing the pros and cons of each option from his seat onstage at Donald Trump’s inauguration, former president Jimmy Carter is, according to late-breaking reports, currently contemplating dying right here and now.
End Of Section
  • More News

IRS Targeted Conservative Groups For Scrutiny

The IRS is said to have targeted conservative and Tea Party–affiliated groups for tax scrutiny, seeking out organizations that focused on the national debt and those that aimed to influence citizens regarding “how to make America a better place to live.” What do you think?

  • “People might have a hard time liking the IRS after this.”

    Juan Marquez Electrode Cleaner
  • “Look, if you’re running around saying you want to make America a better place to live, you’ve got to expect some backlash.”

    Cathy Swain Acupressurist
  • “Well, if there’s one group that can laugh off an abuse of power by the federal government and move on, it’s the Tea Party.”

    Brendan Rutter Unemployed

WATCH VIDEO FROM THE ONION

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close