adBlockCheck

Recent News

Area Man Convinced He Could Have Been NFL Bust

DES MOINES, IA—Insisting that he possessed the physical and mental attributes to be one of the most disappointing draft picks of all time, local man Keith Parker, 34, was reportedly convinced Thursday that he could have been an NFL bust.

Nation’s Sanitation Workers Announce Everything Finally Clean

‘Please Try To Keep It This Way,’ Say Workers

WASHINGTON—After spending years sweeping and scrubbing across all 50 states, the nation’s sanitation workers announced Thursday that everything was finally clean and asked Americans if they could please keep it that way.
End Of Section
  • More News

Is Divorce Too Easy?

With the divorce rate continuing to soar, some family advocates are calling for legislation making it more difficult to dissolve a marriage. What do you think about toughening divorce laws?
  • "Can't these fat-cat legislators in Washington figure out some way to make two people love each other?"

    Kenny Cooper Construction Worker
  • "With divorces so easy to obtain, what kind of message are we sending our children—that it's okay to not like being unhappy?"

    Adrian Pulsipher Podiatrist
  • "Before a couple gets a divorce, the least they can do is have one last baby to try to save the marriage."

    Pamela Hyland Systems Analyst
  • "Our divorce laws need to protect the real victims in all of this: the people who buy expensive wedding gifts for doomed couples. That breadmaker for the Silvermans cost me $250."

    Theodore Kolb Roofer
  • "Friend, I've been through it. And law or no law, nothing is more heartbreaking than losing that 60 percent higher tax deduction for filing jointly."

    Jon Loftus Math Teacher
  • "You mean people can still get married? That bastard lied to me!"

    Irene Abrams Pharmacist

More from this section

Nation’s Sanitation Workers Announce Everything Finally Clean

‘Please Try To Keep It This Way,’ Say Workers

WASHINGTON—After spending years sweeping and scrubbing across all 50 states, the nation’s sanitation workers announced Thursday that everything was finally clean and asked Americans if they could please keep it that way.

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close