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How Movies Receive Their Ratings

Many Americans use the MPAA’s formalized rating system as a guide for which films to see. The Onion provides a step-by-step view into how these ratings are chosen:

‘Winnie-The-Pooh’ Turns 90

Winnie-The-Pooh, the A.A. Milne series featuring a stuffed bear and his toy animal friends, debuted 90 years ago this week. Here are some milestones from the franchise’s nearly century-long run:
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Is Ellen Gay?

All of America is talking about comedian Ellen DeGeneres, whose television character on ABC's Ellen may reveal herself to be a lesbian this season. What do you think?
  • "Ellen DeGeneres? More like Ellen Degenerate, if you ask me!"

    Alison Landsman Bank Manager
  • "I've suspected her character was gay ever since that episode where she ferociously ate out that secretary."

    Don Steffens Limnologist
  • "Thanks to Ellen and Melissa Etheridge, a valuable lesson has been learned: Gay people can be just as mediocre and untalented as straights."

    Kevin Byrne Receptionist
  • "I think that whatever anyone does behind closed doors is his or her own business, unless the kangaroo's bleating keeps the neighbors up at night."

    Acker Bilk Systems Analyst
  • "Everybody here at the ABC women's rugby team knows Ellen quite well, and I can assure you there's no truth to those rumors."

    Kelly Howe Groundskeeper
  • "Forget Ellen—have you heard the rumor that that guy on Martin is a colored?"

    Andy LaPointe Stockbroker

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