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Is The Economy Turning Around?

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Charles Koch Orders Sniper To Fire Warning Shot Next To Marco Rubio On Debate Stage

GREENVILLE, SC—In response to the presidential candidate’s unsatisfactory answer to a question about the economic effects of environmental regulations, Koch Industries CEO Charles Koch reportedly ordered a sniper positioned in the rafters of the Greenville Peace Center to fire a warning shot near Marco Rubio’s podium during Saturday’s Republican debate.
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Is The Economy Turning Around?

The Dow recently passed 9,000 for the first time in nearly a year, raising hopes that the economy is finally poised for a turnaround. What do you think?
  • "It's turning around? Hang on, I want to mention this to the guy repossessing my couch."

    Lou Alessandro
    Truck Driver
  • "They're just playing up the economy to distract us from the war."

    Mary Bohnert
    Homemaker
  • "As a hurdler, I must warn you: Even though the economy has cleared this hurdle, there will likely be more hurdles to hurdle soon."

    Kathie Coombes
    Hurdler
  • "Ah, the economy! How my soul stirs at the thought of discussing it! Sit! Sit! 'Tis a beautiful day, and we have all afternoon!"

    Karl Edmonds
    Systems Analyst
  • "Do we have enough for another war yet? How about an Olympics? Can I get another $300?"

    Mark Adams
    Shipping Clerk
  • "And with the low interest rates, there's never been a better time to buy a home. Oh, wait–I'm fucking unemployed."

    Mike Ory
    Unemployed

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