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Area Man Convinced He Could Have Been NFL Bust

DES MOINES, IA—Insisting that he possessed the physical and mental attributes to be one of the most disappointing draft picks of all time, local man Keith Parker, 34, was reportedly convinced Thursday that he could have been an NFL bust.

Nation’s Sanitation Workers Announce Everything Finally Clean

‘Please Try To Keep It This Way,’ Say Workers

WASHINGTON—After spending years sweeping and scrubbing across all 50 states, the nation’s sanitation workers announced Thursday that everything was finally clean and asked Americans if they could please keep it that way.
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Is The Internet Full?

Last week, the organization that assigns IP addresses—unique numbers that identify the "location" of every device connected to the Internet—handed out its last available digits. What do you think?

  • "Hint received. I'll take down my blog."

    Phyllis Rader School Librarian
  • "I've said it for years—we have got to think of more numbers!"

    Matt Skelly Disability Benefit Recipient
  • "Maybe it's time to stop assigning Internet locations and start assigning Internet destinations. The Internet: Tomorrow Is Today."

    Jim Delfini   Architect

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