adBlockCheck

Politics

Robert Mueller Driving SUV 100 MPH Down Runway As Air Force One Narrowly Lifts Off

PRINCE GEORGE’S COUNTY, MD—Sending a pair of guards scrambling for safety as he gunned his black SUV through a chain-link gate and onto the tarmac, Robert Mueller, the former FBI director who was recently tapped to lead the ongoing investigation into the Trump campaign’s ties to Russia, chased Air Force One down the runway at Joint Base Andrews moments before takeoff, sources reported Tuesday.

Trump Asks Entire Senate To Clear Out Of Chamber So He Can Speak To Comey Alone

WASHINGTON—Entering through a side door and bidding the assembled legislators, congressional aides, and members of the media to give him a moment with the former FBI director, President Donald Trump reportedly asked the entire Senate to clear the chamber during James Comey’s testimony Thursday so he could speak to him alone.

A Timeline Of The Watergate Scandal

With the White House mired in controversy, comparisons to Washington’s most famous scandal have been common, if not always accurate. Forty-five years after the events leading to Nixon’s resignation, The Onion presents a detailed timeline of the Watergate scandal.
End Of Section
  • More News

Is The President Above The Law?

Last week, President Clinton's Whitewater business partner was sentenced to three years in prison, while the president avoided standing trial. Days later, Attorney General Janet Reno announced she would not order an investigation of Clinton's questionable 1996 election fund-raising. Should presidents in some cases be exempt from prosecution?
  • "Presidents should be held accountable for all their actions. Except shoplifting. That's no big deal."

    Felicia Koonce Systems Analyst
  • "I still think they should have made Gerald Ford stand trial for strangling that hooker."

    Tyler Grieg Chiropractor
  • "When I was president of the River Valley Birdwatchers Club, I had free reign. I was fuckin' unstoppable."

    Ryan Sturbridge School Psychologist
  • "Clinton should go to jail for Whitewater 'cause he's a fag-lovin', pot-smokin', womanizing draft dodger. Do you ride this bus often?"

    Nevin Vance Bartender
  • "Bill Clinton is still a young man. If any of these crimes should end up on his permanent record, it may limit his options later in life."

    Donna Moreland Sculptor
  • "In a democratic society like ours, only one man is above the law. I speak, of course, of box-office action champ Steven Seagal."

    Tim Brundage Chemical Engineer

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close