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Man Holding Hands With Pregnant Woman Must Have Weird Fetish

RED BANK, NJ—Testing the limits of what even the most progressive onlookers considered publicly acceptable, a man was seen by multiple witnesses Tuesday holding hands with a visibly pregnant woman in what many could only interpret as the expression of a bizarre fetish.

Grandma Looking Like Absolute Shit Lately

VERO BEACH, FL—Unable to ignore the 86-year-old’s dramatic physical decline since they last saw her, sources within the Delahunt family reported Monday that their grandmother Shirley is looking like absolute shit lately.

A Basic Guide To Dream Interpretation

Dreaming is a universal human experience, and many similar themes arise in people’s dreams the world over. The Onion provides some context for interpreting these common dreams:
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Is Wikipedia Unreliable?

An incident in which a former Tennessee publisher was linked to the Kennedy assassination on Wikipedia has called the accuracy of the user-edited website into question. What do you think?
  • "Well, I believe everything I read, but since I don't pay attention, no harm done."

    Ken Wagner Colorist
  • "This throws skepticism on all previous information I've received from Wikipedia! How can I now trust that acetic acid is in fact an organic compound best recognized for giving vinegar its sour taste and smell?"

    Betsy Anderson Production Assistant
  • "What does it say on Wikipedia about this?"

    Sigmund Stern Lawyer

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