Israel Requests NATO Help

Top Headlines

Recent News

Cake Just Sitting There

Take It

CHICAGO—Assuring you that there was nothing to worry about and not a soul around who would see you, sources confirmed Tuesday that a large piece of chocolate cake was just sitting there and that you should go ahead and take it.

Where Your Political Donation Goes

With over $1 billion spent in the 2016 presidential race alone, campaign donations continue to cause much controversy and even confusion for their role in shaping politics. Here is a step-by-step guide to how the average American’s political donation travels through a campaign

Roommate Skulking Around Edge Of Party Like Victorian Ghost Child

SEATTLE—Appearing initially in the far corner of the living room and then several minutes later on the threshold between the kitchen and the hallway, local roommate Kelsey Stahl was, by multiple accounts, seen skulking around the edge of a house party Friday like a Victorian ghost child.
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next

Israel Requests NATO Help

Israel surprised the international community by requesting that NATO troops be sent in to patrol the Lebanon–Israel border. What do you think?
  • "So long as no one clues in the newbie members like Estonia and Latvia that there's a NATO Do-Not-Call List, this should be doable."

    Ian McDonaugh Architect
  • "Didn't Condoleezza Rice just fly all the way to Lebanon? And the problem is still not solved?

    Steve Mott Gift Shop Cashier
  • "Well, we have to pull those troops out of Sudan immediately. You always help the least-brown people first, that's just how it works."

    Silvia Jones Ice Cream Scooper


Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close