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Biden Opts Out Of Putting Last Few Felonies On Job Application

WASHINGTON—Saying he would be “sitting pretty” if he landed such a primo gig, Vice President Joe Biden reportedly decided Tuesday to leave off several of his most recent felonies while filling out a job application for a blackjack dealer position at the Horseshoe Casino Baltimore.

Departing Bo Obama Lands K Street Lobbyist Position

WASHINGTON—Touting his lengthy tenure in the White House and close personal relationships with the president of the United States and first lady, executives at Brownstein Hyatt Farber Schreck announced Monday that once the current administration steps down later this week, the departing Bo Obama will officially join their high-powered K Street lobbying firm.
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Italian Court To Retry Amanda Knox For Murder

Italy’s highest court ordered the retrial of American exchange student Amanda Knox and her Italian former boyfriend on charges they murdered Knox’s British roommate in 2007, reopening a case that captivated Italy with its lurid sexual details. What do you think?

  • “Look, the only thing that girl’s guilty of is being beautiful and maybe murder.”

    Samantha Niederjohn Mover
  • “Lucky. Why can’t we ever get cases with lurid sexual details here in America?”

    Curly Welker Unemployed
  • “Wow, that new pope is really shaking things up.”

    Jose Nobrega Button Clamper

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