adBlockCheck

Jackie Chan Endorses Government Control Of Chinese

Top Headlines

Entertainment

Hollywood Stars Overthrown In Bloody C-List Uprising

LOS ANGELES—Unleashing a brutal wave of violence and destruction that has upended the entire power structure of the entertainment industry overnight, the nation’s C-list celebrities have carried out a bloody coup to overthrow the hottest stars in Hollywood, sources reported Tuesday.

Lost Jack London Manuscript, ‘The Doggy,’ Found

RYE, NY—Workers inventorying the estate of a recently deceased Westchester County art dealer earlier this month reportedly stumbled upon a draft of a previously unknown Jack London novel titled The Doggy, and the work is already being hailed by many within the literary world as a masterpiece.
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next
TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Good Eating

Satisfaction

Jackie Chan Endorses Government Control Of Chinese

While addressing a group of Chinese businessmen, Jackie Chan spoke out against freedoms for the Chinese people, saying that if they weren't controlled they would "just do what [they] want." What do you think?
  • "I think in order to have any informed, responsible opinion on the destiny of one billion Chinese people, we would also have to hear what Sammo Hung says."

    Terry Khuns Thermal Molder
  • "They should at least be tougher about the lax placement of pulleys, buckets, ladders, and hovercraft that have given this man no end of trouble."

    Ann Bennett Ceramics Designer
  • "What does Jackie Chan know? He's Chinese. Those people are out of control."

    Peter Rogers Operations Inspector

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close