Jackson Jurors

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City Adds Some Big Concrete Stairs

They’re For Sitting On Or Running Up Or Something

CHICAGO—Noting the structure’s considerable size and prominent location in a busy public park, local residents confirmed Tuesday that the city had installed some big concrete stairs that were probably for sitting on or running up or something like that.
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Jackson Jurors

Two jurors in the Michael Jackson molestation trial said they regret acquitting Jackson, and both now have pending book deals. What do you think?
  • "I, for one, am glad these jurors are finally getting a chance to weigh in on the Jackson trial."

    Stephen J. Perrault
    Software Engineer
  • "If these jurors make a lot of money, the jury for the next Jackson molestation trial will be filled with opportunists."

    Madeline Novak
    Systems Analyst
  • "Oh, this is just like 12 Angry Men, except this time, it ends with them letting a child molester go free."

    Susan L. Brady
    Marketing Clerk
  • "Real-life trials have such hackneyed and predictable endings. Where's the creativity?"

    Frederick C. Mish
    First-Line Supervisor
  • "Shouldn't they have known that Jackson was guilty before the trial began?"

    Daniel Hopkins
  • "This is what happens when a sleazy loonball is tried by a jury of his peers."

    Meil Serven
    Director Of Defining