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Tips For Back-To-School Shopping

As kids prepare to go back to school, parents are tasked with providing all the supplies and clothes they’ll need for the year. Here are The Onion’s tips for tackling back-to-school shopping.

Report: Sky Normal Today

WASHINGTON—Informing citizens there really wasn’t anything special going on up there, the nation’s scientists confirmed the sky is normal today.
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Janet Yellen Nominated As First Female Fed Chief

President Obama nominated Janet Yellen, the current vice chairperson of the Federal Reserve, to replace Ben Bernanke as the head of the nation’s central bank, which would make her the first woman to hold the position, provided she passes her Senate confirmation. What do you think?

  • “This is so exciting and boring.”

    Hannah Mason Systems Analyst
  • “And perhaps someday all women can be the Fed chief.”

    Richmond Kurland Log Chipper Operator
  • “I look forward to making a villain out of her.”

    Brick Sartor Golf Club Assembler

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