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The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:

A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:
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Japanese Fans: New Godzilla Too Fat

According to the Japanese Times, die-hard Godzilla fans are complaining that the monster in the new Hollywood remake of the classic 1954 film looks too fat, with many users joking that the giant reptile has eaten too much American food. What do you think?

  • “Sorry if we like a little meat on our monsters.”

    Jackson Cahn Biochemical Engineer
  • “Well, they say the camera adds at least 50,000,000 pounds.”

    Stanley Rundles RV Salesman
  • “I just hope I look that good when I’m 60 years old.”

    Sylvia Lang Marketing Adviser
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