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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.

Report: Grandpa Just Walks Like That Now

CULVER CITY, CA—According to family sources, the prominent limp displayed by local grandpa Marvin Adelstein on Tuesday is indicative of the fact that he just walks like that now.
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Jeff Bezos Unveils Rocket Project

Amazon founder Jeff Bezos has revealed Blue Origin, an aerospace company that aims to send rockets into space, potentially with tourists aboard. What do you think?

  • “Finally, a fast and convenient solution for getting off this godforsaken planet.”

    Mitchell Zuro Battery Dismantler
  • “It’s truly incredible to see what billions and billions of dollars can do.”

    Sarah Nigallis Pushpin Cushioner
  • “How soon will this begin popping up as a suggestion after I buy a case of hot sauce?”

    Travis Backle Pony Brusher
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