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The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:

A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:
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Jen And Vince Split

People magazine reports that Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn have broken up. What do you think?
  • “Well, she traded down from Brad Pitt to Vince Vaughn, so I’d warn Ralph Macchio to look out.”

    Leanne Benning Zoo Attendant
  • “With a clunky portmanteau like Vincennifer, the two clearly had no future.”

    Tyler Samuels Surveyor
  • “Thank you so much for telling me. I'd hate to make some kind of faux pas if I were to run into them tomorrow at Wal-Mart.”

    Hector Hernandez Systems Analyst
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