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Parents Of Crying Child Must Not Be Any Good

WOODBURY, MN—Noting how the pair’s failure to promptly resolve the situation was a clear indication of their inability to raise or care for another human being, sources confirmed Friday that the parents of a crying infant must not be any good.

Report: Mom Sending You Something

PORTLAND, ME—Stating that she had put it in the mail this morning and that you should keep an eye out for it, your mother notified you Saturday that she was sending you something, reports confirmed.

A Look At The Class Of 2020

This year’s incoming college freshmen will comprise the graduating class of 2020, with the majority of them born in 1998. Here are some facts and figures about these students and their worldview:
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Jenna Bush Married

First daughter Jenna Bush was married to Henry Chase Hager on her father's ranch in Crawford, TX. What do you think?
  • "So that makes him the Duke of Virginia now, right?"

    David Black Cashier
  • "It was good her dad could get down there 65 times over the last eight years and clean up some of that brush for the wedding."

    Jill Berg Florist
  • "Crap. I kinda had my eye on her."

    Bob Fridenbourg Dock Worker

After Birth

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