adBlockCheck

Jessica Biel Searches Infectious

Top Headlines

Entertainment

‘Rugrats’ Turns 25

This August marks the 25th anniversary of the premiere of Rugrats, the beloved Nickelodeon cartoon about intrepid baby Tommy Pickles and his group of toddler friends. Here are some milestones from the show’s nine-season run

Your Horoscopes — Week Of August 9, 2016

ARIES: Your life’s story will soon play out in front of movie theater audiences across the country, though it’ll only last about 30 seconds and advertise free soft drink refills in the main lobby.

Director Has Clear Vision Of How Studio Will Destroy Movie

LOS ANGELES—Saying he can already picture exactly what the finished cut will look like on the big screen, Hollywood film director Paul Stanton told reporters Wednesday he has a clear vision of how studio executives will totally destroy his upcoming movie.

Your Horoscopes — Week Of June 14, 2016

ARIES: Once the laughter dies down, the party favors are put away, and the monkeys led back inside their cages, you’ll finally be given a chance to explain your side of the story.
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next

Jessica Biel Searches Infectious

According to a study by McAfee, 20 percent of all searches for actress Jessica Biel will return results infected with a virus or malware. What do you think?
  • "I choose to focus on the other 80 percent that return photos of a nice-looking woman with a phenomenal publicist and a fairly catchy name."

    Charlie Biggin Meter Reader
  • "What about combing through her garbage for a memento of some kind? That's harmless, right?"

    Kevin Pozner Labor Organizer
  • "Once I did a web search on Stephen Hawking, and my PC instantly gained 850 terabytes of memory and a 3-D holographic touch-screen interface."

    Charlotte Haber UPS Driver

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close