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Biden Opts Out Of Putting Last Few Felonies On Job Application

WASHINGTON—Saying he would be “sitting pretty” if he landed such a primo gig, Vice President Joe Biden reportedly decided Tuesday to leave off several of his most recent felonies while filling out a job application for a blackjack dealer position at the Horseshoe Casino Baltimore.
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J.J. Abrams To Direct New 'Star Wars' Movie

Disney has selected J.J. Abrams, director of the recently rebooted Star Trek franchise and co-creator of the TV show Lost, to direct the upcoming Star Wars sequel, slated for release in 2015. What do you think?

  • “I can’t wait. I loved Lost, and Star Wars is a great name for a movie.”

    Ian Scarano Noise Abatement Engineer
  • “Why are they messing with the series? Star Wars is the only thing that doesn’t make me sad!”

    Ric La Mana Fatback Trimmer
  • “I bet he’ll keep the light sabers in there.”

    Judith Semler Well Digger

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