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Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.

Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.
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J.K. Rowling Writing ‘Harry Potter’ Spinoff Film

Warner Brothers reached a partnership deal with J.K. Rowling to write a series of films based on the Hogwarts textbook Fantastic Beasts And Where To Find Them that appeared in her Harry Potter series of books and films. What do you think?

  • “Oh, no. This is gonna be Baywatch Nights all over again.”

    Robert Gamiello Preschool Administrator
  • “The franchise will suck without a Weasley in it.”

    Eleanor Lamendola Casino Pit Boss
  • “Yes! This is gonna be Baywatch Nights all over again!”

    Gerald Barlia Systems Analyst
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