Joblessness Not A Factor In Stimulus Money

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Vol 46 Issue 31

NFL Fans Turn Out In Droves To Watch Men Touch Cones

NEW YORK—Fans of professional football turned out more than 100,000 strong last week to watch grown men perform calisthenics, huddle around one another, and even run up to and touch orange cones, spokesmen for the NFL said Wednesday.

Illinois Does A Few Adult Films To Make Ends Meet

SPRINGFIELD, IL—After ending the 2010 fiscal year with a record $4.7 billion in unpaid bills, officials say Illinois has been actively pursuing a number of sexually explicit scenes in direct-to-DVD features until it gets back on its feet.

Albert Haynesworth

The Redskins' defensive lineman has a checkered past and is currently struggling to get into condition. Is he any good?

The Quotable Ozzie Guillen

The colorful White Sox manager is in the spotlight for comments about supposed favoritism toward Asian players, but it isn't the first time he's had something to say.
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Joblessness Not A Factor In Stimulus Money

A survey of the distribution of federal stimulus money reveals that states with the highest unemployment are among those receiving the least recovery funding. What do you think?

  • "That makes sense. It's just like with the regular distribution of money."

    Kayla Jones
    System Analyst
  • "If they wanted money they'd get a promotion like me. Did you get my e-mail about my promotion?"

    Dustin Reynolds
    Vice President of Sales
  • "Hey! I didn't want to hear any specifics about what the government was going to do with the money when they passed the stimulus, and I certainly don't want to hear any now."

    Josh Walters
    Mock-Up Builder
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