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Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.

Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.
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Joblessness Not A Factor In Stimulus Money

A survey of the distribution of federal stimulus money reveals that states with the highest unemployment are among those receiving the least recovery funding. What do you think?

  • "That makes sense. It's just like with the regular distribution of money."

    Kayla Jones System Analyst
  • "If they wanted money they'd get a promotion like me. Did you get my e-mail about my promotion?"

    Dustin Reynolds Vice President of Sales
  • "Hey! I didn't want to hear any specifics about what the government was going to do with the money when they passed the stimulus, and I certainly don't want to hear any now."

    Josh Walters Mock-Up Builder
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